Friday, July 27, 2007

The lovely old mass

Well I've been away for a while chaps. But I am prompted to write on an important issue that's close to my cold English heart:

I have recently returned from a splendid holiday in Greece, a now almost un-broken run (apart from a misguided hiatus in Lefkas) has taken me to the same little corner of Crete for the last six years. It is relaxing, it is exceptionally quiet, there is no underground railway. It is also deliciously unusual amongst many holiday destinations in having a close, pleasant, and – if painfully un-airconditioned – inviting Catholic Church. At last Sundays on holiday go by guilt free. “You’re excused if you’re travelling, aren’t you?” no longer has to ring out for all (especially the spirits of long deceased grandparents and aunts) to hear. The sumptuous post-worship breakfast still provokes a tinge of guilt for entirely different reasons, however every Sunday is a feast in honour of our Lord’s resurrection, so that’s fine.

There is something uniquely comforting about going to Mass on holiday. Whilst no-one wants to go home early, the disruption of routine is unsettling, and causes its own merry form of tension. Going to Mass provides a return to sanity, a familiar environment, with enough differences in exact décor, layout and style of delivery to keep it exotic. That is why for the five years prior to this I have relished participating in parts of the Mass in Latin on these sun-baked religious excursions. I swell with a certain pride when looking around I see Poles, Germans, French, English, Japanese (they really do get everywhere don’t they) belting out these parts of the mass with Ethel Merman-esque abandon. I am filled with a sense of grace and thanksgiving that almost everywhere on the planet someone is joining in these prayers. The differing nationalities, and disparate backgrounds of the congregation are united by a unifying liturgical force and singularity of purpose. Well, almost everyone is, but I notice the English kids have difficulty with the Latin, it’s unfamiliar, taboo even, pushed under the carpet. The Polish and Japanese children are singing happily away, joined with their brothers and sisters in Christ. The English look sullen, bored and sun-burnt, except one child, oh no, he’s American, you can tell – the parents both have exceptionally good teeth.

In England we have almost entirely abandoned this part of our heritage as Catholics, certainly in the diocese of Arundel and Brighton where I grew up. Admitting a fondness for any part of the Mass in Latin is considered by many parish communities in this country as being right up there with adultery, murder and wearing white socks in any possible list of heinous crimes. It seems ridiculous in asocial climate that adores Genealogical research, restoring old buildings and slapping preservation orders on fallow fields. We like old things in general but won’t hear of embracing our religious heritage. Now, I luckily didn’t have to live through the 60s. Considering how addicted I’ve become to pistachio nuts over the last week I doubt I’d have survived. I didn’t witness the huge change of suddenly hearing the mass in the vernacular nor did I spend my childhood “bored stiff and not understanding a damn thing”. However I don’t quite get the vilification of the old rite, and of Latin in general (because after all saying the novus ordo in Latin used to be an attempt to get as close to the old rite as possible without the Bishop noticing). The same people that turn purple with rage over what is a very simple issue of language wouldn’t dream of attending a performance of Carmen by the ENO, because, “English is such a harsh language to sing in, and why make a fiery Gypsy girl sound as if she’s from Derby?!” Similarly those same people adore Mozart in theatres but abhor it in churches. Imitation pop is favoured instead, Abba Father indeed.

It strikes me that people simply can’t be bothered with Latin anymore, despite its beauty and intrigue. I personally prefer Mass in Latin, the difference of language keeps me on my toes, and it becomes far harder to shift into auto-pilot. As my Latin improves that's becoming slightly less of an issue so I may have to switch to French soon and by 2020 I’ll be desperately seeking out Mass in Egyptian but that's by-the-by. In addition to this heightened sense of awareness, it also means that when you travel abroad everyone can be ‘singing from the same hymn sheet’. It provides a powerful sense of belonging. It’s very sad that this experience is largely impossible for little English twerps who simply haven’t encountered the Latin. What’s more the English translations of the Latin in the book don’t help much either, because there isn’t even a united voice in English liturgy. Instead there are nigh on 8 million English approximations of the Agnus Dei. Man's artifice manages to translate three simple lines of Latin into quite literally God knows how many verses of saccharine tripe - I think the Sunday before last I heard them sing “Jesus socks and shoes, Jesus peace of cheese”, but I may have been mistaken. It seems worryingly paradoxical to think that something which promotes such unity in a Greek holiday town can create such discord on home turf. It is equally upsetting that the experiences of our religious forefathers have been swept away. It’s the equivalent of finding Granny's best dinner service and saying “oh smash it, it’s outdated”, whereas it could benefit everyone if you dusted it off and took it along to Antiques Roadshow.

This is why it upset me greatly this year upon returning to my holiday haunt for a slice of spiritual normality to find that they’d elected to remove the Latin. Mass was in Greek, the opening and closing numbers were in English, and a communion hymn to Our Lady was sung in Polish, at least I think it was Polish, there were lots of ‘z’s’. The joyful unity I had witnessed in previous years had been replaced by a veritable tower of Babel. Oh everyone managed the sign of the cross and, those paying attention, or with a small knowledge of Greek managed the odd ‘Amen’ in the right place. People enjoyed having their own little bits in their native tongue, but did not join together at any point. Call me sentimental but I'd been looking forward to a communal affirmation of identity, instead I got confusion.

I am almost certain that the lack of Latin, and incense, and the astonishing goggle-eyed, flapping exuberance of the priest was a direct backlash against the pope’s recent motu proprio authorising the old rite. Whilst bishops panic that power is slipping away, congregations panic that altars are going to be rammed against walls and everything will be muttered quietly in Latin. However surely in a society where acceptance is meant to be key this is a progressive step allowing people to worship in the way they see fit. Furthermore in order for any sort of ecumenical agenda to work it is necessary for us to reaffirm our identity with each other as Roman Catholics. Latin and the Old Mass are not things to shove under the carpet, they represent our religious heritage – as the Vatican said in a recent press release “the Old Mass is the treasure of the Church". It’s not an embarrassing skeleton in the closet, nor is participating in the liturgy in Latin a backwards step. It is only difficult and exclusive when people have deliberately not been taught it. I for one have never felt so part of the Universal Church as when singing the creed in Latin with people of around ten nationalities and the promise of a good breakfast ahead of me. Now it seems my only chance of unified worship abroad will be if Esperanto suddenly takes off, which unless the church is full of computer-geeks seems highly unlikely.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Well everything is beginning to come up roses. I have a very very very promising prospect of a job in a publishing house starting in January, which would be nice.

That just leaves the issue of money between now and Christmas, ideally I'd like to make about £500 over the next few weeks. Who should call me last night but the tutorial agency I worked for last Easter, wanting me to teach again for them at their Christmas course between 17th and 22nd of December. If I get a full timetable of teaching with them I should make about £600.

So the money may well be rolling in shortly!

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Shere'ly you Kahn't beleive it...

You'll pardon the pun based upon Kipling's dastardly tiger, because today I went to the zoo for free - by gatecrashing my friend Louise's biology conference on animal behaviour. The conference was an open conference, but was really meant for people researching animal behaviour. It was extremely interesting, especially the more philosophical lecture on the issue of the human tendancy to apply a certain level of anthropomorphism to animals - which with regards to the possible expression of animal emotions has an obvious implication for the study of their welfare.

Anyway, the institute where the conference was being held (which incidentally provided very good coffee and biscuits first) has no lunch facilities, so you go into the zoo to use their cafe. Then you get to wander round the zoo for a bit. It was brilliant fun, and the bearded pigs were by far my favourite.

Then this afternoon I didn't go back to the conference but headed to the V&A to meet a friend. Saw some lovely renaissance church silver; including one very beautiful hanging pyx that Bede would have melted over.

I am now on the Oxford Tube, stuck in MAJOR TRAFFIC despite getting on at about 4.30pm (After having to wait for about 25 minutes for the bus). I'm getting rather worried that I'm going to miss the first half of the OULES panto.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The return of the prodigal blogger...

Biz pointed out to me in an email that this blog has had a brief hiatus and that people might actually think I'd been working during this time - in the sense of paid, taxable employment. Of course I haven't.

I have been trying though (very trying) and was offered a job at Cartier, which I didn't take for a variety of reasons, one of which was the rubbish pay. Things are beginning to look up now though as I have a 'meeting' with the publishers I did work experience for on Monday. They might have a job from me, and I seem to get on very well the editors there too. As Cath rightly says "the main thing about an interview is your employer trying to work out whether they can put up with you at 9am on Monday morning".

I've also met with lots of recruitment agencies and more temping agencies and I think something will come through soon. If it doesn't then I've made the arrangements to sign on as a precaution.

Yesterday I saw my first pantomime of the season, and I'm seeing another on Thursday. It was very good, in an OULES sort of way, and had a smattering of decent jokes. The rest of the audience were a bit rubbish at the boos and hisses.

Tomorrow I'm going to Oxford to see the OULES panto, which I co-wrote with Cath. It will hopefully be very good, though I've heard very disturbing things about them adding spurious "Pinky and the Brain" references to the script. I'm looking forward to it immensely.

Fr Henry's book launch the other day was great fun. But I've only just remembered that I haven't written about it and have to dash for an appointment. I'll write at length on that later.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Well yesterday went rather well I had a call from a temping agency with a publishing and media specialist branch, saying they could really do with someone on their books and could almost definitely get me some work, but they could only meet me on Friday - which I cannot do because I'll be in Oxford. So I've set a meeting up for next Thursday, apparently the person who deals with publishing and media only comes in on Thursday and Friday. This makes me skeptical about the actual volume of work they have to allocate, but it's worth a try.

I thought long and hard about delaying going to Oxford, but it's been planned for a while and the whole point of getting there this evening is so I can force Hannah into Debenhams (for late night shopping) so she can buy a dress to go to Saf's ball. Otherwise she'll have to do this on Saturday, but she won't get up early, which means that we will be in a panic about getting to Cambridge and getting ready. Also the earlier we get there the more time I get to spend with Cath who's over from Belgium for the ball. These things are important.

We also have to get masks that match Hannah's dress (whatever it's like) and all those lovely girly things that I'm very glad I only ever have to bother with in panto - where clashing colours are thankfully, obligatory.

Honestly these people that have big extravagant 21sts and ply their guests with booze, it's so damned inconsiderate.

I met with a proper temping agency yesterday and had to do both a typing and a spelling test for them - but they reckon they could possibly get me something starting next week - which is good. If I can power through with a week of temping, and then do this voice-over work, that's the rent more than covered for a month. Fingers crossed big-time for the v/o. My panto-scripts website is not getting off the ground very well, it needs a proper domain name and stuff. I'm actually thinking of submitting the scripts to an already existing online agency, but I think they assume rights for five years, which is very bad indeed.

It seems doubtful that my temp four days a week write and job seek one day a week thing will work. So I think I'll just give myself a writing week once a month or something.

However my goal of acheiveing temporary work within three weeks looks very possible though and will has put me on to a tutoring agency that is desperate for people in North London.

Right off to a meeting with another agency now.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

The cold begins to go and the heat comes

Well my cold is feeling quite a bit better, which is a very good thing. Today I am off to register with a temping agency and pretend I'm an IT and filing whizz-kid. It seems that a year of TERRIBLE employment is necessary before anything remotely fun might come along. I hope the meeting isn't a waste of time. We'll have to see.

Hannah's company want someone to some paid voiceover work and I'm submitting them some demos, apparently I stand a good chance. So that's fun and EASY money and is very nice for my CV.

I also have a possible lead on a job working for a recruitment agency that deals only with Oxbridge, or they might find me a job! Either way it could be good. Well, it would be dull and very boring, but at least it would be something I could do for money, with the possiblity of further oppourtunities!

This cold has been a very annoying and slightly depressing set-back though.

In other news the heating is OFF and the flat is still ROASTING HOT, it's beginning to really get annoying.

Monday, November 13, 2006

A few little pork shavings...

I have a stinker of a cold, a really nasty, horrible dreadful cold. I am applying lemsip, vicks, vitamins and Morrissons own brand cough mixture which I'm swigging from the bottle with abandon - it's doing nothing whatsoever, I'm pretty sure it's just glycerin.

I had a lovely weekend. Hannah visited. She likes the flat - well what's not to like - and we had a very chilled couple of days. On Saturday we went to Primrose Hill and had a walk and a coffee in a little place on Regent's Park Lane. We didn't eat there because of a) economy b) there was no meat.

We then went to Morrissons, which is HUGE, and VERY, VERY cheap. I'm set up for a good while now food-wise.

After Morrissions we watched some DVDs and then cooked a Thai Green Curry, which was delicious though a little more spicy than I expected so we washed it down with a glass of milk and returned to the DVDs.

On Sunday we had a rather lazy day which finished with a lovely roast pork dinner and some vegetables which Hannah brought with her from Oxford.

Then Hannah left for Oxford and I started doing some preparation for my interview which was today. The preparation involved getting my clothes sorted, and I decided to shave. Aha, but I suddenly found I'd left my shaver somewhere. Panic ensued. Hannah said later on the phone that I should just go out in the morning and get a disposable razor and some foam and it'd be fine. But I'd never wet-shaved before and didn't particularly fancy dragging three sharp little blades across my face. Hannah told me not to be such a wimp. So I went out the morning, bought the necessary equipment and shaved. It was ok, rather fun in fact and I didn't cut myself at all - so at least I have a sense of acheivement.

I then heavily indulged in lemsip and embarked upon the tube journey. The interview went quite well I think, despite the cold. I really like the sound of the company, what they do, how they work. We'll just have to see how well things progress.

This coming weekend I am in Cambridge for a friend's 21st, they're having a masked ball and Cath is coming back from Belgium for it, and Sally is coming up from Exeter for it so I will be in Oxford and Camridge over the weekend. The following weekend I am going to a book launch in Oxford - so it's all go.

This afternoon I'm investigating temping again and praying that some other job leads will make good. I might have a bacon sandwich for lunch. I am ill, have had an interview and have battled with a wet-shave - I deserve it.